Have you bought a car recently? At the end of the deal, the salesperson tells you that the company will be sending you a survey soon and please, please, please, give me five stars or we risk our dealership’s high ranking. That could lead to losing the discounts and white glove service we currently offer. I might get fired and my family’s welfare will be at stake.

The premise is that the company wants to improve and you can help by taking a few minutes to respond. I experienced this with a bank not long ago. I was unhappy with the entire experience and thought I could use the questionnaire to state my grievances.

The questions were stacked in such a way that I couldn’t say anything negative without calling out the nice employee who was just doing his job. He spouted the boilerplate articulately. On a one to ten basis, did the rep explain your options fully?

The worker bee wasn’t the problem. The company’s policies were atrocious and there was no forum to express dissatisfaction, save for a small comments section at the very end. By the time you get there, you are too mentally fatigued to respond. And if you do, whatever device they have scanning it doesn’t have the capacity to process or understand deeper comments.

Garbage in, garbage out. The whole purpose of these surveys is to trumpet how the vast majority of customers love our company. They are covering their collective ass, as opposed to really trying to improve. Just confirm the initial premise that we are already doing everything right.

I was naive, thinking that honest criticism might help a company correct its flaws and do a better job. They could improve their service and grow their earnings by listening to their customers’ valid concerns. The way they have it set up, a good percentage of respondents who grade positively will never be repeat customers.

As the Who said, “We won’t get fooled again.”